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Economy of Words vs. Clunky Writing

Like Earnest Hemingway, great writers know how to be economical with words. That is, they can squeeze the most meaning out of as few words as possible. Many self employed people make the mistake of writing their own marketing materials. While budget is often a factor, a good proofreader can make a world of a difference (and is tax deductible as a business expense).

Did you know that unpolished, "clunky" writing screams amateur, and may actually deter people from becoming your customers? The biggest offenders that clunk up your writing include:

Passive verbs
Unnecessary strings of prepositional phrases
Run-on sentences
Repeated words in close proximity (exception: when the repeated word is part of a logical sequence)
Repeated ideas within the same paragraph

Some clunky snippets I've come across recently and how I would tighten up the writing:

Clunky: "There is some evidence that"

Better: "Evidence shows"

Why: Passive verbs weaken your writing and bulk up sentences unnecessarily. If you notice forms of the verb "to be" creeping in, rearrange the verbiage and replace them with active verbs.

Clunky: "It can change your life too, if you open yourself to the experience. Until you decide today is the day and take action, nothing will change."

Better: Delete one of the above sentences.

Why: They both say more or less the same thing, and the word "change" was repeated.

Clunky: "One of the great things about clarifying your core values is that this enables you to set healthy boundaries."

Better: "Clarifying your core values will enable you to set healthy boundaries."

Why: Too many prepositional phrases; passive writing.

Clunky: "So first, get clear on how committed you are to making this change. On a scale of 1-10, how committed are you to finding a new career path?"

Better: First, get clear on your level of commitment. On a scale of 1-10, how ready are you to embark on a new career path?

Why: Repeated idea again.

Of course, the approach you take when editing out the clunk will depend on the context. Some of the above examples may be improved upon further after analyzing them as part of a surrounding paragraph.

If you have any doubt about the quality of your writing (and even if you don't!), invest in the skill of a good copy editor or proofreader. If you pay $50 to have a web page edited that gets you $250 of business that it wouldn't have otherwise, it's all worth it in the end.

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Ever Dreamed of Earning Your Living Writing Copy for the Web?

Now's your chance to learn all there is to know about how to launch, organize and successfully run an online writing and editing business from the comfort of your home office. Get on the list for our upcoming guide, "The Nitty Gritty of How to Start a Writing or Editing Business on the Web." Learn more by clicking this link!

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home about copywriting services web design web copywriting copy editing email newsletter management blog content article writing sales letter content direct mail copywriting branding campaigns POstcard Marketing SEO critiques social media profiles resume writing Small Business Advertising testimonials copywriting and marketing articles sign up for our newsletter contact us
Copywriting and Marketing Categories article marketing and copywriting tips Branding Tips Blogging Tips Email Newsletter Tips grammar advice persuasive copywriting tips sales letter copywriting tips search engine copywriting tips technical aspects of copywriting the copywriting client web copywriting and marketing tips One Dollar Consulting Special Send $1 via PayPal, then email your most pressing questions about marketing to dina@wordfeeder.com today. for corporate clients copywriting for coaches copywriting for web designers Landscaping Marketing real estate copywriting copywriting for the specialty food industry technology marketing & copywriting	Custom Search Economy of Words vs. Clunky Writing by Dina Giolitto Like Earnest Hemingway, great writers know how to be economical with words. That is, they can squeeze the most meaning out of as few words as possible. Many self employed people make the mistake of writing their own marketing materials. While budget is often a factor, a good proofreader can make a world of a difference (and is tax deductible as a business expense). Did you know that unpolished, "clunky" writing screams amateur, and may actually deter people from becoming your customers? The biggest offenders that clunk up your writing include: Passive verbs Unnecessary strings of prepositional phrases Run-on sentences Repeated words in close proximity (exception: when the repeated word is part of a logical sequence) Repeated ideas within the same paragraph Some clunky snippets I've come across recently and how I would tighten up the writing: Clunky: "There is some evidence that" Better: "Evidence shows" Why: Passive verbs weaken your writing and bulk up sentences unnecessarily. If you notice forms of the verb "to be" creeping in, rearrange the verbiage and replace them with active verbs. Clunky: "It can change your life too, if you open yourself to the experience. Until you decide today is the day and take action, nothing will change." Better: Delete one of the above sentences. Why: They both say more or less the same thing, and the word "change" was repeated. Clunky: "One of the great things about clarifying your core values is that this enables you to set healthy boundaries." Better: "Clarifying your core values will enable you to set healthy boundaries." Why: Too many prepositional phrases; passive writing. Clunky: "So first, get clear on how committed you are to making this change. On a scale of 1-10, how committed are you to finding a new career path?" Better: First, get clear on your level of commitment. On a scale of 1-10, how ready are you to embark on a new career path? Why: Repeated idea again. Of course, the approach you take when editing out the clunk will depend on the context. Some of the above examples may be improved upon further after analyzing them as part of a surrounding paragraph. If you have any doubt about the quality of your writing (and even if you don't!), invest in the skill of a good copy editor or proofreader. If you pay $50 to have a web page edited that gets you $250 of business that it wouldn't have otherwise, it's all worth it in the end. Go to the page where we list all copywriting and marketing articles Ever Dreamed of Earning Your Living Writing Copy for the Web? Now's your chance to learn all there is to know about how to launch, organize and successfully run an online writing and editing business from the comfort of your home office. Get on the list for our upcoming guide, "The Nitty Gritty of How to Start a Writing or Editing Business on the Web." Learn more by clicking this link! No time to read right now? Simply fill out the form below! We'll contact you as soon as the guide is ready for public consumption. Thanks. Want more? Sign up for Word Food, our Copywriting and Marketing Newsletter. get a copywriting or website marketing quote Thanks for visiting Wordfeeder.com Copywriting and Marketing. If you're interested in a copywriting, web design or web marketing quote, please include project details such as: Type of Project (web copy, sales letter, articles, etc.) General Project Details (target audience, product, etc.) Number of Pages Links to Previous Ads Links to Competitor Ads Whom You'd Like to Emulate (or not emulate!) Anticipated Due Date Please email to Dina@Wordfeeder.com with the subjectline "Copywriting Quote". Need a referral for a web designer, virtual assistant or search engine optimization expert? Just say the word! We work with only the best service providers. Thanks! More Copywriting Articles Recently Added Articles: Article Fodder for Your Business Blog Real Estate Content and Marketing Materials: How to Prepare Before You Plan How to Write With Energy How to Plan Out Your Postcard Campaign for the Highest Conversion Rate How to Charge for Copywriting, Writing or Editing Services How to Plan Out and Delegate Your Bulk Article Writing Project How to Write a Good Web Article in 5 Simple Steps How to Get Bulk Articles for Your Niche Based Website Bulk Article Writing or Content Writing Service How to Get a Basic Business Website Home Page or About Page: Which One Are You Writing? Economy of Words vs. Clunky Writing How to Crank Out Copywriting and Web Marketing Jobs in Record Time Do You Utilize the Sidebars of Your Website? How Do You Market Coaching Services During a Sluggish Economy? Blog or Website? The Trick to Getting Your Newsletter Read and Bringing in New Business Each Month 2009 and Prior - Listed in Alphabetical Order: 10 Simple Ways to Punch Up Your Copy, Redirect Your Website Traffic and Dramatically Increase Sales 11 Reasons Not to Hire a Freelance Copywriter (and Why They're All Poor Excuses) 11 Ways to Caffeinate Your Copy: Give it More Juice, Get More SALES 13 Ways a Copywriter Will Kick-start Your Marketing 5 Critical Aspects of Website Design that Can Lessen the Impact of Your Copywriting 5 Ways Web Copy is Different From Print 7 Quark Express Tricks Every Copywriter Should Know About 7 Points of Contact in Your Marketing Copy 9 Things a Copywriter Can Do to Successfully Capture the Brand Accelerate Your Freelance Copywriting Career Analogy Marketing: How to Think Like the Web's Top Paid Professionals Are Your Keywords Making You Sound Less Intelligent? Articles and Branding: 5 Steps to Success Article Marketing Master Plan Article Marketing Online: The Real Reason Why Shorter is Better for Your Web Traffic Article Marketing Submissions Sites Article Marketing: the Better Offpage SEO Solution Article Marketing: Work It On the Diagonal So You Can Go Vertical (from our ezine) Article Writing: 5 Tips on How to Pull and Hold the Reader Article Writing Dos and Don'ts Article Writing: How to Improve the Quality of Your Content as a Means of Attracting a Higher Caliber of Clientele Article Writing Service from Wordfeeder: Get Noticed in Your Niche Article Marketing: What is it and How Can I Use it to Grow My Business? Articles: The Perfect Branding Tool Bad Copy, Good Copy: A Show-By-Example Guide to Writing Stronger Web Content Branding to Multiple Audiences: How to Retool Your Existing Content Business Blogger: Are You Competing for Traffic... With Yourself? Copywriters and Blog Marketing: What Can You Farm Out Today Copywriting and Branding Exercise: Determining Your Company Mission and Values Copywriting and Marketing: 5 Ways to Get the Word Out About Your Website Copywriting and Marketing Resources Copywriting: Drafting Rules for Professionals Copywriting for Astrology, Tarot and the Mystic Audience Copywriting: How to Become a True Authority on the Web Copywriting: How to Write a Tagline for Your Company Copywriting: How Different Should Your Brochure Be from Your Website Content? Copywriting Tip: How to Keep All Eyes Riveted on Your Sales Letter Copywriting to the Rescue: How to Connect Deeply With Your Readers to Get More Sales Copywriting Tricks: Mastering the Voice Copywriting: Why It's Better to Write the Homepage Last Direct Mail Copywriting Tip: How to Tackle Your First Postcard Campaign Does Your Sales Letter "Smoke" Your Product? How to Tell if You Need to Tone Down Your Sales Copy Editing and Writing Tips that Will Have Your Book or E-book Flying off the Shelves Email Newsletter Process: Critical First Steps Email Newsletters: Your Most Pressing Questions Answered Google and Your Article Marketing: Shifting the Focus Back to Ezines Again? Headline Writing Styles: Have You Been Told the Rules? How Does a Copywriter Blog for Someone Else? 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Economy of Words vs. Clunky Writing

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